It's been quite a while since I've had the time to write. I'm hoping to catch a bus to the Florida Mall to meet up with my roomies, so I don't have much time to dig for typos. If you spot any, let me know. (The curse of being a fast typer).

Trying to compile all that's happened in the last few days could take weeks to write. I don't even know where to begin. So far, Disney has been both a magical and tragic journey wrapped into one. When I told people I was going to work at Disney World, they immediately smiled and said, "you'll have so much fun!" To a degree, I have, but working here is not all fun and games-- especially not when working in attractions. I'm responsible for the safety of the guests, which means I have to be on top of my game at all times... even at three in the morning after a twelve hour shift. Today is the first day off I've had since I started. All the days run together, and I've never felt more exhausted in my whole life. Sometimes those long days can make you a bit irritable, but you have to pretend to be completely content.

That being said, all the aching feet and almost shed tears are completely worth it when those rare moments of magic appear. It's in these moments that I can feel God, that I realize why He brought me here-- what I was created for. I was working the grouper position at Dumbo around 9 o'clock one night. Storybook Circus is relatively quite around that time, so the line was virtually empty aside from the few stragglers that came through. My job was to figure out how many Dumbos everyone needed. A family came through the door towards me for their ride-- two parents, and a little boy no more than four or five. He was wearing a first visit button. I was just doing my job-- I smiled and waved enthusiastically in greeting. All of a sudden, the little boy takes off running down the line towards me, and he throws his arms around me with a big grin. I was taken by surprise for a moment, and I couldn't help but smile.

"It's my first time!" he exclaimed enthusiastically.

I knelt down on his level so I could meet his eye and gave a genuine smile. "It's your first time, buddy! Well then, welcome home!"

He giggled and threw his arms around me again. I almost teared up at the sincere joy, and I got to be part of it. It had been a long, torturous day on my feet, but I didn't care. In that moment, I got to be part of something I would never experience anywhere else-- I created joy.

Each day here is filled with bad moments, cranky guests and situations that make me want to pull my hair out. But just one moment like the one with that little boy makes patiently wading through the fire worth every minute.

There are a lot of people who look at this as a job, but I see a chance to make a difference. I fully believe if you make a difference in the life of a child, you can change the world. Even in making a child smile, that innocence is infectiously spread to the parents. I do my best every day to not just wait for those moments-- I look for them. Whenever I see a child crying, I always approach them and try to make them smile again-- give them a sticker if I have one. The other day, I was working Play Monitor inside the Dumbo Tent playground. My heart burst in two as I was making my rounds. All these children were running about having a blast, and there was one kid stuck in a wheelchair off to the side. He wasn't even facing the playground-- he couldn't play like the other kids. I couldn't stand to see him treated differently, and I didn't want him to feel excluded. On my second round, I stopped by him and his mother. I knelt so we'd be equals. I smiled and asked what his name was.

"Joshua," he told me, smiling as looked to his mother. He seemed surprised that I came over just to talk to him.

I asked him about his day and if he was having fun. I spent a good three minutes talking with him and his mother, and when I left he was still smiling. I may never run into him again in this life, but I can live knowing that, for a brief moment, I made him smile-- I created happiness. Time will pass, and I'll eventually have to go back to school, but I'll never forget Joshua or the little boy who was so excited he threw his arms around me. God truly has blessed me in greatest way possible. I finally have a purpose, and my life has never felt so incandescent. I'm finally finding clarity.

I was a little skeptical of choosing Attractions at first, but now that a full week on the job has passed, I'm glad I did. My fellow circus workers are becoming like family-- we're just one big bunch of carnies all looking out for each other. I'm beginning to match names and faces. Last night was a lot of fun. After closing down the rides in circus, we have to collect Lost and Found and take them over to the Little Mermaid Cast Member. There were at least five strollers left in circus, and by rule we're only supposed to move one stroller at a time. So, each of us took a stroller and headed down to mermaid. By Disney rule, when we're in costume we aren't allowed to leave our area-- we don't want to ruin the show for anyone. Mermaid was supposed to be clear of guests. As we neared the Castle Courtyard part of Fantasyland where the carousel is, we were stopped by a coordinator because there were still guests ahead. We passed off the strollers and returned the way we'd come so as to avoid what we call "bad show." As we were walking back, a manager was walking with a guest to find their stroller. Since she'd told us to go that way, we didn't get in trouble. It was an adult as well, so we didn't feel too badly. He would understand why we were there. As we were passing the Little Mermaid, however, a security guard was walking a little girl and her dad around to find their stroller. We didn't want to ruin the magic for the little girl, so I shoved Alex and Chelsie towards the Vacation Club booth to hide. We pressed our backs to the wall, trying not to laugh. We didn't want to let the little girl see circus people in the Mermaid area-- no need to ruin the magic. As they passed by, the security guard called out, "You're not very good at hiding."

We laughed and tried to shush him. "Wrong costumes," Alex hissed out.

We inched around the other side, waiting until they'd passed before making a run back to the circus. We skulked along the wall, stopping to see if the coast was clear.

"Blackhawk down," Chelsie breathed, trying not to laugh.

We 007-ed our way back, laughing hysterically once we were safely in our zone. It's nice to have coworkers I get along with. I doubt I could do any better elsewhere. We all have the same mission here-- to make other people happy. It's not always an easy job, but it's the most rewarding. God knew what He was doing when He sent me here.

Life as a Carnie

It's been a while since I've written a blog post. A lot has happened, so I'll try to skim over the important parts.

I'm officially done with training! I've only worked two days on my own, but it feels like it's been a lifetime. Yesterday was my first 13 hour shift. It was crazy! We only get a break every 2 hours for 15 minutes, and one 30 minute break to eat. With how far we have to walk, I'm pretty much moving all the time. I thought I was going to fall flat before my shift was over. I still managed to have fun as long as I was moving-- the standing around was what hurt.

I've had numerous moments that have touched my heart. I can scarcely keep track of them all. Just yesterday a little boy named Patrick got off on the wrong side of the Barnstormer and got separated from his mother. My coworker Mike asked me if I wouldn't mind helping him find his mom before we traded shifts. Of course I said yes. I walked with Patrick down the exit, talking to him the whole time so he wouldn't be scared. After a moment, he reached up and took my hand as if we'd known each other our whole lives. We walked through Storybook Circus until we found his mom. Later, when I took over as the grouper at Barnstormer (person who says which row you go to), Patrick came back through the line. I started asking him how old he was, and he began to answer when he realized who I was. He got all excited and jumped up and down, saying, "Hey, you know me! You just helped me find my mom!" It was the cutest thing ever.

Later on, there was a family playing in the playground at Dumbo. The little girl couldn't have been more than 4 or 5. She started crying for no reason, and I couldn't let her be unhappy. I got down on her level and said, "What's wrong princess? Come here, sweetie." I held my arms out and she ran into them and wrapped her arms around my neck. I hugged her and talked her down. She stopped crying immediately. I asked if she wanted to ride Dumbo, and she nodded. I stood back up and led her over to the line. Her mom smiled and thanked me sincerely. Moments like that make working 13 hours well worth it.

I didn't get off until 1:30 AM. Originally, me and my friend Tatiana were supposed to catch a ride with some coworkers, but they clocked out early and headed home. We were sitting at the bus stop with a bunch of other people. The bus was 20 minutes away, and there were so many people waiting for it, we knew we'd be standing for an hour. Suddenly, we both got tapped on the shoulder and turned to see our coworker Cody standing there. He asked where we both lived, and then said, "Come with me. I'll give you a ride."

It was the sweetest thing he could have done for us after being on our feet for 13 hours. We both gave him a big hug, which was probably awkward for him since he's French. I got home by 2:15 instead of 3:30 AM and got a great night sleep. If one thing can be said about working at Disney, it's tough as all get out, but your coworkers really do become like family. We all look out for each other on and off the clock. I don't think I'll ever find such a union anywhere else.

E-training and Making Magic on Peter Pan

Today started early, which is nothing new. Despite getting to the bus at 6:45, I was still almost late. The buses we have to take are beyond unreliable, and I swear one of these days the drivers are going to wreck. (Disclaimer: they are not Disney buses. Those are safe and always on time, I assure you). Thankfully there was a computer error with CP logins today, so I wasn't counted late.

Training today started with a walk backstage to Fantasyland. We walked through the park in the early morning fog. The streets were empty aside from the cast members setting up for the day. It's a special kind of magic only a select few get to see, and I love watching it happen. Because the park had yet to open, we were allowed to walk inside the Be Our Guest Restaurant. I kid you not, it's like walking right into the Beast's castle from "Beauty and the Beast." I almost cried, it was so beautiful. I swear we were in the movie-- Disney magic at its best. To tour the restaruant when it was empty was absolutely incredible.

By the time we left Be Our Guest, the park had opened and a few guests were roaming the park. We moseyed over to "Enchanted Tales with Belle" which is like a walk through show. The guests get to act with Belle. It was a great. It was pretty cool to watch, and I loved seeing the kid's faces light up. Later on, we had e-training. It was basically hours of courses on a computer-- things like on the job safety and disability policies. After this, we got to go into the park and work the fast pass plus line on Peter Pan for experience with guests. For those of you who know me, this was the coolest thing ever!

I got to wish guests Happy Birthday and make the kids feel special. It was the best hour of my life. One little girl was absolutely adorable. She was dressed like a princess, so I got down on her level and asked, "Are you Cinderella today?"

She nodded all shy and started telling me about her day. I asked if she was having fun, and she got all excited about getting on Peter Pan. I acted surprised and said, "You're going to Neverland? Tell Tinkerbell I said hi if you see her, and tell her Arielle said to give you an extra sprinkle of pixie dust."

She smiled wide which in turn made her parents smile. I love my new job.